We think we’re good at reading emotions, but new research from the Hebrew University suggests we often get it wrong.
The study reveals that people routinely overestimate how intensely others feel, especially when it comes to negative emotions. But surprisingly, this bias isn’t all bad, and it may actually help strengthen empathy and deepen relationships.
Sometimes, believing someone feels “more” than they actually do might be exactly what keeps us connected.
According to a new study led by Prof Anat Perry and her PhD student, Shir Genzer, of the Hebrew University of Jerusalem, together with Prof Noga Cohen from the University of Haifa, chances are you’re overestimating just how strongly the other person feels.
Across seven studies involving more than 2,800 participants, Prof Perry and her team found a consistent pattern: people believe others’ emotions are more intense than those individuals actually report feeling, especially when it comes to negative emotions like anger, sadness, or fear.
This bias, which persisted in texts, videos, and live conversations, emerged whether participants were judging strangers or romantic partners. And while it may sound like a recipe for misunderstanding, the findings reveal a surprising twist: overestimating others’ emotions may actually help relationships thrive.
“We tend to think accuracy is the gold standard in emotional understanding,” says Prof Perry. “But our research suggests that a bit of bias, believing others feel more strongly than they do, can actually promote empathy and strengthen social bonds.”
Shir Genzer explains: “People reported that they tend to be accurate in identifying the emotional intensity of others, and that if there is any distortion, it’s actually in the opposite direction, that others underestimate the intensity of their emotions. However, our behavioral findings paint a different picture: we all tend to ‘exaggerate’ a bit when trying to read others’ emotions and this may actually work in our favor. People who perceive others’ emotions as more intense tend to feel greater empathy and respond in a supportive and compassionate way. In a sense, this exaggeration is a social mechanism meant to help us avoid missing another person’s distress.”
The study, published in Nature Communications, shows that people who slightly overestimated others’ negative emotions were more empathic toward strangers, and their romantic partners reported higher relationship satisfaction. In other words, assuming that your partner is a little more upset than they claim may lead you to offer more care and attention, which are key ingredients for healthy connection.
Prof Perry adds: “Systematic perceptual biases are a central part of our cognitive systems. We’ve known for decades about perceptual biases that, for example, cause us to emphasize boundaries to easily distinguish between an object and its background. It highlights social biases, showing that we are more sensitive to the pain and sorrow of the “in-group” than of the “out-group. From an evolutionary perspective, there are many reasons why it may be preferable to slightly overestimate others’ negative emotions rather than underestimate them. Some relate to empathy and showing concern for others, while others concern our own survival. Overall it’s probably better to interpret another’s expression of fear or anger as a real potential threat worth preparing for, rather than dismiss it.”
Prof Noga Cohen concludes: “The findings indicate that we have a bias in perceiving the intensity of others’ emotions, beyond the type of interpersonal interaction. The fact that the effect we found replicates across studies using texts, videos, and real-life communication demonstrates the evolutionary significance of the bias and its ability to influence how we perceive others’ emotions in social media, in one-time encounters with strangers, as well as in romantic and other close relationships.”
Ultimately, this study sheds light on one of the most fundamental aspects of social life, how we read one another’s emotions. It suggests that human connection isn’t built solely on accuracy, but on a delicate balance between perception, empathy, and a little bit of emotional imagination.
The research paper titled “Directional bias in interpersonal emotion perception” is now available in Nature Communications and can be accessed at https://www.nature.com/articles/s41467-025-66879-2.
Researchers:
Shir Genzer, Matan Rubin, Haran Sened, Eshkol Rafael, Kevin N. Ochsner, Noga Cohen, Anat Perry
Institutions:
- Psychology Department, the Hebrew University of Jerusalem, Jerusalem, Israel
- Department of Counseling and Human Development, University of Haifa, Haifa, Israel
- Department of Psychology and Gonda Neuroscience Center, Bar-Ilan University, Ramat Gan, Israel
- Department of Psychology, Columbia University, NY, USA
- Department of Special Education and The Edmond J. Safra Brain Research Center for the Study of Learning Disabilities, University of Haifa, Haifa, Israel
- Radcliffe Institute for Advanced Study, Harvard University